Harry plays mas | Last word

Harry prepares for his first Carnival

  • Illustration by James Hackett

Harry! Harry? You could put down that newspaper for a minute? I tryin’ to talk to you!

Harry, you goin’ down to Trinidad for Carnival next week, is your first visit and your first Carnival. I don’t know how I lettin’ you go on your own, nuh, but I tell Mavis take good care of you. But Harry, listen, doh make me shame, you hear?

You have to understand you is a big hairy baldhead yankee white man with belly jumping over he belt and tattoo all over he skin. Why you had to put big-boob mermaid there only you and God knows. You does blend in easy up here in New York, but down there in Trinidad people not like you, they black and brown. And all them sexy red girl in the band spend the last six month sweating up in the gym to look good. So you just mind your business, okay, Harry? Even when they come and wine on you. Yuh understand what I saying?

Anyway, Mavis get a costume for you. Forest Fern. You going to be a Forest Fern, Harry, yuh hear? You get a set a green boots, a little green skirt, a green collar looking like leaf, and a long green pole. You supposed to be gentle breeze rippling through the rain forest, Harry. Just remember that, after you get a bottle of rum in your head and you going across that stage like a tank, your pole swinging about like Gandalf sword in that movie we see on cable.

And they have a special way to dance, Harry. Up here in Brooklyn you could dance any way you want, people does flap any part of they body and squeeze up theyself like they have bellyache. But if you do that down there in Trinidad everybody going to ask if that is really Myrtle man, and how she could let him loose so, you understand? I go feel so shame.

So hear, nuh, Harry, listen to this tape a man sell me. He put all my favourite tunes on it, that is service, eh? This tune could teach you how to move, it call Dollar Wine. When it say “cent” you does push out yuh waist to the left. Then it say “five cent” and you push out you waist to the right. Easy. Then it say, “ten cent”, and you boomsie fly back behind you. And then it say “dollar!” and you does thrust youself forward like you want to — well, I see that does come natural to you, Harry. It easy, lehwe try. Cent, five cent, ten cent, dollar.Just keep yuh foot still, Harry, yuh dancin’ with you pelmic region now. Cent, five cent, ten cent — wooo Harry, mind the side table nuh. OMIGOD HARRY, MI MOTHER VASE. O god o god. Harry you steppin’ in it, mind yourself.

Well I go have to explain to her. All right, Harry, you could stop now.

But Mavis bound to take you to a few big fete, and that is where it have trouble. Them little ragamuffin boys racing up and down the stage with smoke and firework, swinging on rope and jumping in the crowd and all sort a thing. Then they bawl “Trinidad are you ready?” And they do a sort of countdown like when they launching rocket at Cape Carnivorous, and they start to bawl, “Move to the left, move to the right, wave you rag” or whatever, and everybody wave their whatever. Mavis will give you something to wave, Harry, don’t worry, some nice little towel or something so, only don’t go and blow your nose in it, Harry, you hear? You go shame me too bad.

Then everybody start to throw they hand in the air and jump up and down, whole fifty thousand or however much they pack inside these days. And you is a man nearly three hundred pounds, so when you land on some poor woman foot it go break in six places, and that is when you really in trouble.

But Harry, you really sure you want to make this trip? By youself? Harry, you swear you go behave yourself? You won’t shame me, Harry? And you will come back home, Harry, right?

Harry? Put the blasted newspaper down, I tryin’ to talk to you. And Harry, where you learn to steups like that?

 

Funding provided by the 11th EDF Regional Private Sector Development Programme Direct Support Grants Programme.
The views expressed on this website are those of the the authors and do not reflect those of the Direct Support Grants Programme.

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